AND LISTENING
Some of the questions on this website may seem meaningful for you, and some may not – but the truth is that if you don’t make decisions about your own death, someone else will.
Working with these questions will take some of the confusion out of this for your family, friends, and other supports. I have also found that working with these questions is an interesting and rich experience, bringing people close and creating easy and natural conversation. I have asked all of these questions to my friends who were dying, and it was an eye opener and created great conversation.
PLEASE KEEP IN MIND: If you are helping someone and they don't want to talk, that's ok too! Everyone has their own comfort level. Always leave the door open to conversation but never force it.
NON JUDGEMENTAL LISTENING:
Practice non judgmental
listening. Do not have an agenda with
anyone you are helping, except to find out what they want and
how you can help.
HERE ARE SOME THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR: (TRY NOT TO DO THESE THINGS)
Do I have a bias I about these questions?
Do I have an agenda?
Am I trying to convince them of something?
Am I jumping to conclusions?
Am I thinking about my response before the person has finished talking?
Am I interrupting with questions, or finishing their
sentences?
Do I hear what I want to hear and am I close-minded to what
disturbs me?
Am I trying to solve their problem?
Am I trying to change their mind?
Am I thinking about other things while listening?
Am I fidgeting?
Am I playing with my cell phone? Am I texting? Am I
multi-tasking?
---------
Marcie Vallette