Fellowship
Other materials and studies can help you to
become more knowledgeable, comfortable, and conversant in
death and dying issues. Here are some helpful ABCs of
“death prep” work. You can do it alone, but it's often
helpful to find others to work with, you are not the only
one doing this.
BOOKS: There are many great books on death, both practical and inspirational. My personal favorites are: Being with Dying by Joan Halifax; Living in the Light of Death, On the Art of Being Truly Alive – by Larry Rosenberg; No Death No Fear, Thich Nhat Hanh; The Grace in Dying – A Message of Hope, Comfort and Spiritual Transformation, by Kathleen Dowling Singh; Falling Upward, by Richard Rohr.
CONTEMPLATION: A regular practice of prayer or contemplation is known to help with emotional regulation. If you are inclined, ask your priest, minister, rabbi, or other spiritual teacher, or consult directly with scriptures or other books for prayer and meditation practice. You could also form a group of practitioners and meet up for contemplative activity. The App “Insight Timer” also has some wonderful death and impermanence meditations.
DISCUSSION: Engage in open, frank discussion about death and dying issues. Death Café, an international organization with independent groups, is geared toward discussion of death. It is open to the public, and is a discussion group (not a bereavement or support group). As caregivers or potential caregivers, is important to hone our listening skills and also practice articulating our thoughts. As mortals, it is important to address death directly if we want to articulate our needs. Death Café may also be a good place to find friends or like-minded people to accompany you with your death planning. Find a group near you or create one yourself, guidelines are online: www.deathcafe.com
Marcie Vallette